So now I sit with her and watch her wither daily. Mentally and physically, she is slowly dying with little hope, but hope none the less. I came to grips with her mortality about two weeks after the 2 year notice on her life. From there I just reminded her how much we loved and cared for her. I have always done this, but now I took more interest in having her tell me more about her and how she grew up. I sit with her and just talk, read scripture to her and ensure her that we are here for HER, as she always has been for us. Some days she sits and looks at me with tears in her eyes and mouths "I am sorry.", which immediately brings me to tears...why is she apologizing to me? She has treated me, my brothers and father like KINGS our entirely life and she was our queen. No, she wasn't a push over and would dig into us like any woman I have ever met, but she was also the greatest example of a mother and wife anyone could ever have...she cooked, cleaned, washed laundry and took care of us daily, plus still held down a full-time job. We had chores, but she truly always held it down for us...all day, everyday. So why is she apologizing to me for not being able to talk, walk and do? Every time...I cry, because I see the pain and hurt in here eyes to not be able to do what she has always done...take care of us, instead of vice versa...
My momma, she told me before I left for Afghanistan that I can't stop my life, career and growth to sit and wait for her to die, because I could be waiting a while. So as I grabbed my things and prepared to leave for the airport she told me to be safe and come back alive, she held her promise to me, that she would be here waiting for me, but now with my departure for Dubai days away, she doesn't seem as sure as she did before, but still mouthed to me in a faint whisper "I will see you at Christmas." with a tear in her eye and a subtle smile on her face.
My momma, my heart...I pray for her recovery everyday, but more so for her peace.
- BlogPress from my iPad
Location:Main St,Dallas,United States
Kevin~ You haven't met me in real life but I am one of Shay's friends from BBC. I was in your shoes so many times before we lost our Awesome Momma in February. It's the hardest thing I've ever had to do, but it has made me so much stronger now. She always told me, 'Heather, there's a reason for every season.' That has always stuck to me like glue. It's so true. Your Momma is a fighter like my Mommy was but I wish there was something I can say to take away the pain, but I can't.
ReplyDeleteOne thing that I can say, not only am I preaching to myself here, but I am going to say to keep strong in prayer and keep a strong bond with your family and make the most of every time you are together with your momma. It will mean so much to you when that horrible time comes. Now, I am not saying it's easy because by all means it will never be but surround yourself with the ones you love and the ones you know will keep you.
I love your amazing wife as if she was a member of my family. She helped me get through a dark and difficult time in my life just by typing a few words to me and that is to keep your loved ones close to you.
You have a beautiful family and God has shown you through the many trials and tribulations He has helped you get through. Remember this: If God is For Us, Who Can Be Against Us. He never gives you more than you can't handle! Many Blessings to you and Shay and that beautiful baby boy you both have. Know that I will follow ya'll on here and FB as well.
Be careful and enjoy this journey God has bestowed upon you.
Love and Blessings,
Heather Burton (Be joyful always; pray continuously; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus.
~1 Thessalonians 5:16-18~)