The Past: I was never one to be completely concerned with the past, mine or others. I had the tendencies to forget most of the "bad" occurrences in my life, once I mentally sorted them out and accepted them for what they were...learning experiences. Now as a learning experience, realize that I didn't think of it as a reference point that would constantly referee to like foot note warning signs. Instead, I would review, reevaluate and remove, meaning that I wouldn't really think of it unless it was something occurred again. The older I got, the more I started to try to hold on to some things as someone else's reality, rather than a lapse in judgement. This is a process that builds resentment and will more than likely diminish your ability to truly forgive, but now I can say that I am truly at a place where I realize that the past is no longer relevant within the present and that if progressions a daily goal, then relying on the past will be regressive and emotionally cripple any ability to forgive and progress.
The Future: I was always concerned with my future. I had the tendency to set lofty goals, then completely submerse myself with the idea of those goals and then create an entire life around it...mentally. Then being ADHD (diagnosed), I would create multiple scenarios and literally convince myself that I would attain each one, but separately and sporadically. I realized at that point that I was a dreamer who couldn't focus to save my life.
Daily I would concern myself with a plethora of thoughts, ideas and plans, then worry about how I would ever attain these things I wanted SO bad. It was so bad that I would rarely sleep, because as my mind raced a million miles a minute, I started to doubt the attainability of those goals, because I was convinced that I if I didn't reach those goals, I would never have the things I wanted later in life.
In my last semester of college I had the most relevant epiphany in my life...what will be will be. I began thinking primarily of the present and planning for the future. This removed a small boulder from my shoulders and allowed me to see my life in a different life, because I knew I would accomplish great things in life as long as I continued to just gave it my best and different fear the "what if's" of failure.also, I found setting a goal with time constraints where counter productive, but instead I gave myself of a time frame that could realistically be attained. Now on many occasions, many ideas crashed and burned: photography, a Williams Chicken franchise, a book, acting...you name it...I tried it or at least started the planning process and research. Many ideas were never completed and some were just flat out rejected, but I can say that I was always willing to go after each and every idea, because I was never concerned about the future and the possibility of failure.
I said ALL this to say that life is unpredictable and fleeting, as well as if we continually allow our past hurts and future worries cripple our present moments, we will never progressive and be hindered, not having the ability to appreciate moments we are currently living in. Live with in the NOW (Eckhart Tolle), because the past doesn't exist and the tomorrow is not guaranteed, as it is explained in the Book of Matthew...God's Word, truth!
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Location:Corinth, TX
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